Dear party-goers,
This is the period of time in my life when I should be out living it up right? At least according to what everyone says. THE CLUB seems to be the place where all of these people my age go to have fun and be social. Problem is, every time I go to THE CLUB I eitehr feel too old or ... too respectable. When I was younger I couldn't wait to hit the club, but times have changed. Three reasons why I can't do THE CLUB thing anymore...
1. Admission - Since I've gotten older I've grown tired of the $20 at the door admission fee. You can call me cheap, but I don't like spending money. Especially if a glass of Hennessey is $10, a shot of Petrone is at least $8 and a beer is $6. How many drinks do you think I'm going to buy after I've paid $20? That's why I like lounges. They are usually free.
2. Dress Code - I like being able to dress the way I feel. I'm a sweatpants and sneakers type of guy. Maybe even jeans, but the dress shoes and shirts are just not me. I have to wear that to work and I don't like to chill in my work clothes. Then again, do people really go to the club to chill anyway?? And some of the outfits that my sistas wear .... furs, thongs. low-rise jeans, fish nets, tank tops (its like 20 degrees outside). Its funny watching y'all stand outside the club in that stuff because i know you're cold. I guess that's the price you pay for being cute, or not.
3. Atmosphere/Attitude - Negroes (not me) go to the club to pick up women. It's that simple. As a man at the club, you gotta be a "go-getter". You gots to pimp!! There are no passive or non-aggressive men in the club. And because I'm not the type to grab someone as they walk by, or just roll up behind some random chick and start grinding on her or start whispering randomly in some girls ear I don't do well in the club environment. I don't go to the club to pick up women. Someplace that is loud, hot, dark and funky does not seem like the ideal place to meet someone. How are you supposed to talk over all that music? You're not. How are you really supposed to see the girl? You remember that song by Black Sheep, "Strobe light Honey"? I'm not trying to get caught up like that.
Anyway, I'd like to say/ I'm Dres from the Black Sheep givin you play/ step out of the light come show off yourself/ oh no I'm sorry I thought you were someone else!
Personally, I like to see what people look like before they talk to me. I like to see the look in their eyes to make sure that they are not crazy. Especially if we are in the dark. And I'm not your "typical" man so ..
IF I can see your butt-crack, not cool.
IF you are WASTED, not good for you.
IF you have on fur, it's a wrap. (that includes furry boots)
IF you have on enough make-up for the circus .. no play.
IF I can smell your funky weave... I won't even go there.
IF I have to buy you a drink before talking ... you'll just be thirsty. (My mom points to this as the reason I don't have a girlfriend. I told her it says BEFORE talking to you.)
IF you have NO college degree ... just walk away. ( although it is more likely to be the other way around these days. especially pertaining to black men and women)
If you stand there and dance with your homegirls ... that's just stupid. AND it's this phenomenon that confuses me the most. Are there that many lesbians in the world or are there too many trifling negroes? And I know that there are many trifling negroes.
Sometimes I wonder why some women even go to the club. Niggas (and I use this word sparingly so you know exactly who I'm talking about) are like vultures. I saw at least six guys attempt to dance with this girl because she was drunk off her ass. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't keep her pants up. And her homegirl was with her!!! Men putting their hands all over her and she was just so unaware... if y'all wanted to do that you should have gone to a strip club. No wonder women seem to always have attitudes at the club.
These are some of the reasons that I do not go to the club on a regular basis. It's just too superficial, too fake and a lot of UN-respect going on. Give me a lounge where I can actually see, sit, talk, drink and maybe even dance. A place where I can relax. Where I don't have to attempt to floss so someone will talk to me. Somewhere I can be REAL. Because the club is just too much stress.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I could take the time to write my personal list of reasons why I can’t feel the club scene. However, I will take the liberty of adding a few more obvious reasons to your list….
4. Admission Line – Who the hell is crazy enough to stand in a line, appearing obviously desperate to get inside the club?? Not I! I have done my long nights in the line, and as I reflect back on those nights, I feel crazy for doing it. Some late nights as I’m riding through my city, I slow down as I pass the clubs so that I can get a good look at these grown people standing in line. I look at these people and I wonder what it is they are missing in their lives. Why are they so pressed to get in the club, sweat it all out, ruin their hairdo they just got done earlier that day, get their shoes stepped on, get drinks spilled on their fits, and spend all their dough? The worst part about it all is that some females will be so concerned about showing their outfits that they won’t wear a coat and it will be 10 degrees outside! Go figure.
No doubt, I did my club time. But mind you, I started early! I was in high school sweating it out in the club. At seventeen I already knew what it was like to kick it V. I. P. style – Moet and chicken wings, no lines! But, it got old real quick.
5. More on Attitude! – At some point I began to realize that there is no real good reason to go to the club. Please believe that “Negroes” are not the only people going to the club to pick someone up! Females are on the prowl as well. Nowadays, females are just as aggressive at picking up men as men are at picking up women. Men and women just have different methods to their madness. Men have to pimp and females have to find the sexiest way to throw themselves at the flyest guy without taking it all off.
Back in the day, the girls and I would have post-club conversations about how many Cats slipped their numbers and how we couldn’t remember whose number was whose. Needless to say, I never had a relationship that I developed with some guy from Club Such-and-Such. It NEVER happened. I couldn’t understand why the Cat expected me to take him seriously when I saw him talking to five other Chics before the night was over – not cool.
Several of my friends disagree with me. They tell me “girl, its about who your with,” as though they go to the club to spend their dough, get hot and sweaty, get their shoes stepped on, drinks spilled on their fits and ruin their hairdo just to kick it with the girls! Hell no, that wont go!
The lounge happens to be my place of choice to kick it every-now-and-then also. The music is usually on point, more than often it’s not too crowded and the vibe is right. However, what I’m finding in New-Atlanta is that the lounge can be a little suspect also. Just last night I met a couple friends at a new lounge that was big as a shoe box, hot as Arizona’s worst summer day and full of clickish individuals. Pretentious, successful, accomplished, educated.
Post a Comment